I am filled with so many emotions now. Anger is there, so is deep sadness, despite the knowledge I gained from your brother Joey in these last 13 yrs.
I am sticking around for your brother Bobby, and for your nephew Riley. I cannot bring anymore sadness or horror to them by leaving this place by my own hand. I hang on by a thread, tho.
I have already gotten signs from you , as has Bobby. Blinking 11:11 on Bobby's broken digital clock was brilliant of you. Then showing up on Bobby's phone, which was turned off, and showing some guy named Mike Brown in Timbuktu ...that got through...Bobby was flabbergasted...I see your humour..of course only you would even know where Timbuktu is...the little boy who read almanacs when he was 4 yrs old.
I know you were stuck in a rut in human form. You carried on despite the addiction you had. I know it overtook you, your fears were so obvious, I kept wanting for you to find happiness somewhere. But you could not find it in that 3 dimensional form, and I know you have happiness now.
I still wait to hear you in the house, and I go into your old room and everything is gone. I took your advice and made it into an art studio, but I feel no passion now to make art. All I feel is confusion and a sadness so deep it has no bottom. I am back where I started, in that deep hole I once climbed out of, which took a decade Finding Joey, and here I am again trying to find you.
I already contacted a medium and you know that. You know everything now, don't you. Every reason this happened and why.
I am still stuck in the hole.I have zero energy, and everyone else has left, as usual, going on with their lives in 3 dimensions, except for me and Bobby, who I can see is also suffering from this. You gave him some good signs, keep it up. He needs them as badly as I do.
I will use this page to write down my journey with you, as I will get to know you now in spirit, and learn what I need from this. I have no point to still be using a body, except to keep Bobby and Riley happy . To take care of the dog and cat and birds. No other reason really exists now to keep using my own 3 d body.
I felt your angst and horror of this world you struggled through every day you were with me. I know we had some good days, but the hard ones were horrible.
I tried to bring you back to your body, but you had left. I know you are with Joey and your dad. The last of my little family of five are just Bobby and me trying to figure it all out in 3 dimensions.
I am told that I will understand why this all happened once I cross over, Until then, I am lost in the wasteland of not knowing.
I am told I am supposed to be learning something. My anger wells up at the thought. I already learned there is no death. What the hell more do I need to know?? And "learn to love yourself unconditionally"....that is the one I have slowly learned...
When Joey crossed, at least I could focus on my new grandson, and I had a point to stay here. But for the past 3 yrs my focus was to keep you alive IN your body.
I was foolish enough to believe I could. It was an ardous undertaking, to keep you from taking off. I know it now, I was exhausted from it, as every day went by and I saw you struggle. I wish you had the capacity, while in your human form, to be able to see this 3d world with some happiness. I know now you were not able to cope with it. Neither was Joey. I can hardly cope with it.
They have all left. The well wishers and people who knew you. Going on with their lives here. Happens everytime. But I am still in shock and disbelief. This will take decades that I do not have left in this 3d world. People leave because I am their worst fear come true.
I could not keep you. Your spirit had it's own journey to take, and I could not control it.
Keep sending us signs. I need them more then ever, and I know you are in a place of Love and flying so high with Joey and your dad. But we need you to kick us in the head, Bobby and me, and continue to let us know how you are. Please.
My days are empty now. Each one is more empty and unimportant then the other. I am merely existing, til the day I can also leave 3d behind. Help me, help Bobby, both you and Joey and dad, and to all those spirits of family who surround you, please let us know how you all are.
I am hanging on by the most fragile of threads here sweetie.
I love you.
Michael!! You got through to George Anderson! I TOLD you there was a life after this one. Im so glad Joey came to get you and help you realize YEAH there is MORE then this human body.
Yesterday you and Joey got through again...you know how I asked you both, ask you both, every day to blow my mind...well you both did...I called George Anderson's office to obtain his physical address and when I called the office, his assistant said :OMG were about to CALL you to get YOUR physical address....and here you are calling us! George asked us to call you because he wants to send you something and you call us because you want to send him something! What are the odds of that??"
Mike..Joey..I could have called George Anderson's office anytime..Instead, I call them right when they are about to call me...astronomical odds but YOU guys pulled it off...
wow, you guys, just wow
keep them coming....miracles....
Thank you, again, my sons...
MIKE GETS THROUGH TO US TODAY.................Very First writing I Found one minute ago when I was looking thru one of Mike’s boxes..... “The Light has grown. It matches my feelings. It grows still. It grows grey. I feel Joey in the light. I am thankful for Mike. I am thankful for all I am. I wish to GROW. Without the growing pains. I am ALIVE ALIVE ALIVE. “. This is the first thing I found in his bin of paperwork. He’s definitely getting through.