Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Finding Michael

Mike. You finally did it. Your accidental overdose. Same thing as Joey. 13 years later and another son leaves his body.
I start this blog waiting for you to show yourself to me.
Let me know you are with Daddy and Joey.
Mama
I made funeral arrangements today. I hated it, sitting there knowing how much so many people fear death and think they are only their bodies.
Your Uncle John had a near death experience. He told me he saw you and Joey together with your dad. You showed up in spirit to him wearing a hoodie and jeans. He would not have known that was your attire on this earth. I appreciate that.
I had George Anderson read for me in Jan. You came thru like crazy. There is no way Anderson could have known your personality otherwise. 
I still havent come to terms with your leaving me. I am still in a state of disbelief even a yr later. I am a mess but I talk to you both every day and ask you both to get me thru the day. I hate this. I am in so much pain I can hardly bear it. I think of you and Joey 24 hrs a day all the time. I beg you both to get me thru this. I feel lost and hurt. Please get me thru this.
Jan 14 2023
Okay kiddo you got me through to here. this little point in linear time.
it has been over 3 years now and you came through to the mediums, you came to me in meditation at the Monroe Institute with Joey and sent me an angel whose wings helped suck the regret and guilt out of me. You came to my brother Andy in the same hoodie you passed away in, you and Joey showed and still show me 1111 all the time, and Bobby sees it too. 
you came to my brother John and told him "Tell my mom 1111 she will understand". 
You come to me now and I can feel your energy and you are so nonchalant about it all, telling me to just surrender to it all, that there is nothing I can do about any of this, that death is a word and it doesn't exist, that I am not my body it is just a costume that if I am anywhere it is with you and Joey and your dad all the time, to stop identifying with my body at all just to let go of it and let it run it's course.
that I am yelling at my own highest self about all of this drama here and mostly  NOT TO TAKE THIS PLACE SERIOUSLY
you have this almost fatherly attitude towards me and I can feel it you love me and so does Joey but you want me to let go of this world as anything more than a dream I am in. 
Oh Mike, please please, and also you, Joey, give me a taste of the Love you are in I am still so lost and do not understand.
know he's angry and I never meant to intentionally hurt the family but please know i dont take all that stuff seriously now that I used to take so seriously I know Bobby is mad but I hope he understands and forgives me someday I was being wayyy to silly to take all that crap in my room seriously, I know now none of it is serious, go ahead and go in there and know that I will now be a better uncle to Riley then I was when I was using my body...."
MIKE IS GETTING THROUGH TO ME ALREADY...!!!!

9 comments:


  1. Mike coming thru to me this morning "go ahead into my room and get everything out..I cant believe I was so adamant about my privacy I cant believe I wouldnt let you go in my room go ahead and go in I was so silly to think all my stuff in there was so important, it wasnt, and I was being so ridiculous about not wanting you to go in there..go ahead and go thru everything all of that stuff is not the least bit important to me tell Bobby to go on in there tell him Im sorry and I know he's angry and I never meant to intentionally hurt the family but please know i dont take all that stuff seriously now that I used to take so seriously I know Bobby is mad but I hope he understands and forgives me someday I was being wayyy to silly to take all that crap in my room seriously, I know now none of it is serious, go ahead and go in there and know that I will now be a better uncle to Riley then I was when I was using my body...."
    MIKE IS GETTING THROUGH TO ME ALREADY...!!!!

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  2. Exhausted. Meeting with funeral director, pastor at United Methodist, not holding back on letting them know that Mike is ALIVE AND WELL in spirit. Go on, TALK TO HIM. Talk to Joey, they are both listening. Funeral Director asked if we wanted organ music...suddenly Mike says to me (in my head, laughing) "Oh no organ music! That would be like asking a polka band to play" and Mike laughed and laughed. He' getting through BECAUSE Im LISTENING.
    SAY HIS NAME, he can hear you.

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    1. and yesterday Bobby showed me a video of Carol playing her polka accordion and it was Mike showing me his message to me at the funeral home was real.

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  3. Mike just told me "I was wearing a coat of fear and now it's gone"

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  4. Mike to me just now. “I went into a Blaze of Glory !!! “

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  5. https://www.filbrandtffh.com/notices/MichaelMike-Brown

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  6. "I didn't make it to 40, mom, I made it to Infinity!" Mike to me just now, laughing...

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  7. Mike came to Bobby again to let him know he's around. Bobby had court this morning (he's a cop) and he nodded off in his truck before court...missed his alarm going on when suddenly he felt someone literally push him across his seat, physically, to wake him up...he felt a huge shove from someone and made it to court on time...yeah, his brothers and dad are getting through..P.s. Bobby was asleep on Mike's winter jacket when it happened..yeah, Mike got through..

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