According to my new NDE friend, Ellyn, this whole thing is a stinking 'play' and this 'I' is just an actor, PLUS, she tells me, a huge BIGGER I, the Higher Self or some such thing, not only wrote the script, and set the scenes, and picked the props, it actually CHOSE the whole thing.
I.E. , Higher Self Me was just standing around in the Light and decided.."Oh, I shall incarnate into something, because it's so damned boring in the LOVING LIGHT, and become a female and have children and husbands and they will pass away !" But the Higher Self Me also decided to write in other sons and grandchildren just in case the actor, me in 3 dimensions, didn't end up in the loony bin from madness.
What kind of stupid Higher Self would write such a play? This has got to be the lamest script ever written.
This better be the last fucking act . Getting itchy for the 'play' to be over with.