Sunday, December 16, 2012

Fear Fear Fear

The events of these last few days has brought into the living room of so many people, an elephant they do not wish to visit. The anger, the finger pointing, the ego trying to wrap itself around 'making sense' of all this is insanely running around in circles ,people with their heads on fire, terrified of the elephant

the elephant I have spoken of every day and have learned to pet and feed. I know this huge elephant very well.

My child cannot die, and will not die. That is the elephant. The Big Bad Scary Goddamned Beast that sits in the conditioned self of every 'parent' out there, screaming in terror as they are now imagining that THIS could happen to their own children.

Well, my dears, no one is exempt.

I remember when so many women came to me after my husband passed out of his body, and I was 36 yrs old..they had those looks of worry on their faces and patted my back and said they could not imagine going through this..

Imagine it, I told them. Imagine it. Because unless you both jump off a bridge together someday, It Will Happen to You, too.

People push this away. Best 'not to think about it.' Not to think about death at all. after all, it wont happen to them, or their children, or their spouses.

No, I know now there is no death . But I also know I am not a body.

I am God wearing a costume. everyone is.

Nonetheless, there was a part of me that was finally RELIEVED that this HORRIFIC FEAR OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN DYING was being literally  THRUST INTO THE FACES OF EVERYONE.

It was about time. I could finally take a break from mentioning it.

I have enough mothers and fathers I know who now KNOW they were not exempt, and are writhing in their own understanding of 'what the hell happened?'

But the ones who look at me, with blank stares..and say.."Oh my god. I would DIE if that happened to me. I cannot imagine."

Well, yes, I did die. I died to everything. But now, the lesson is IN THEIR FACE.

Now, they HAVE to imagine.

I have seen them, tho, today, saunter away, fight or flee, and the fleeing is intense.

"I dont want to read about that massacre anymore!! I cannot bear it!!"

Yes, you cannot bear the thought that you might have to face your greatest fear.

Okay. run away. namaste.

But those same fears as you ignore them will be the ones that come back to bite you right in the ass.

I will understand. I used to run from that one, the most. It was unthinkable.

Well, now everyone is thinking about it.

But, of course, the deception of the ego self will run away. It does not want to be unsettled in it's illusory projection that it is in charge and can control the outcome of everything.

I image my own ego now as a poor Gollum, who has lost its ring and is snivelling about , snot running down its nose, knowing full well the ring is in the still imagines it has a ring, sometimes, but it went from a huge monster of fear, a thousand feet high, and is now a small creature barely holding it's head up as it cowers in a cave.

I know it is a little girl, too. abandoned and afraid. But she becomes tinier by the day.

very very tiny. like a mouse.

So, as people begin to flee this  FEAR THAT THEIR CHILDREN TOO CAN DIE AND THEY  HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT.. and return to their illusions

I stay on, like a voice in the wilderness, continuing to visit Joey, and learn from my son who no longer uses a body, and learn that I may be lonely but I am never alone.

And So It Goes...........................................

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