my son my son

My son, who are you now? where did you go?
I am told I need only look within.
But I am not satisfied with these vague visions.
I am told I must wait for the Unfolding.
But my patience wears thin.
I am told there is no separation.
But these are only words from those who call themselves sages who I do not know.
I still do not know this Light they speak of.
I am told to destroy my 'self' to know.
But I do  not know how to do that.
I am told not to think. I am learning, my son, not to think.
I am told you are not my son, but a fellow traveler.
I am told there is no 'I' , but look at me,
I type the word anyway.
It seems to be a lost cause, my son.
It seems I am only allowed Purgatory here, not heaven,
and I do not know the way to achieve it.
I am told by people who have succumbed the journey to this Light
People who tell me great things about it.
I ask them, is my son still my son.
They assure me it is so.
But, my son, is it so? My heart has no knowledge of this yet.
My head hears it, my heart is still closed.
I am so weary.
I have great solace in knowing, however
That the time will come when I no longer use this form
and I will know.
Perhaps I can only wait.
and the Unfolding will happen then.
I love you, my child, my baby, my sweet sweet boy.
If you are listening, please watch over your brothers.
They need you now, and always.