Saturday, December 8, 2012

JO(e)Y teaches me lessons from The Light

The night that Joey left his body, on Nov 26, he had been visited by one of his acquaintances, a young man who he had known before he had gotten off the drugs and prescription pills he had been on since his spinal degeneration was diagnosed.

Joey always had a paradoxical response to the opiates prescribed for his pain. Instead of being sleepy, it would create psychosis for him. It became a nightmare for everyone, how to alleviate that pain and still somehow keep him from thinking he was insane.

The spiraling kept getting worse and worse, and he looked for pain meds outside of the doctor's office. There are plenty of people out there who were his age and willing to accomodate him, and they did.

One of them had come to visit him that night, and had brought over not only drugs, but alcohol. Joey had been clear and free of drugs in his system, but that  night, even without the pain, his anxiety took over. He had been told by his physician, after surgery, that he would probably be in a wheelchair by the time he was 30. He carried those words like a cross, and was living in fear of what was next.

That night, his friend was just too tempting to say NO to.

But, as one knows, you do not mix alcohol and opiates, especially when your body is clear of drugs.

I realize, now, that it was Joey's time to leave his body. To wake up to his real self. I realize now, that Joey had chosen this entire journey in this small little blip of a dimension, and I chose my journey. We chose this whole 'play' together, before we even decided to 'become' bodies.

The whole scenario is exactly as it is supposed to be.

However, at the time, I was angry at Joey's 'friend'. I was furious. I wanted to find him and beat the living shit out of him. I sat there, fuming, ready to call this person, ready to get a baseball bat and arrive at his house..when...

I heard Joey's voice. Laughing. He spoke inside my head like a bell ringing...Mom, drop your anger.
If you want to be like I am now, you cannot have anger. There is no anger here in this place, where I am. There is only Joy! anger. It is all well, it is all okay.

I had to put my hand over my heart at that very moment, and recognize, I could not carry that anger at that other young person. I had to let ...that....go....

I had to understand that he, too, was playing his part in this 'play'. That it was Joey's time to leave this dimensional manifestation..that it was his journey...

and I learned the greatest gift of all....

I cannot control anyone's journey. I cannot



let go. the journey will just unfold in it's own perfection.

Joey came to my brother, who was also angry, and told him the same thing.

Let. It. Go.

My brother called me one day and told me he had been driving in his car, and came down the road, in a rural part of Indiana, and he lost the ability to brake.

His brakes failed, and he was hurtling down a hill, full tilt speed..he knew he had to hurry up and turn the car at the bottom of the hill to somehow stop it from hitting anyone else...

as he reached the bottom of the hill he turned the tilted on it's edge, and began to overturn...

My brother said time. literally. stopped.

and he saw, in front of his car, Joey, Bob , my dad, and many others, laughing

and pushing the car back onto it's wheels.

He called me, shaking as he spoke.

"All of them are together!" he said "And they were all laughing at me!!"

Indeed, I know now there is no separation but it took me a while, and a long road to get from there

to this...

as Joey told me once, when he was still using his body, and I was ranting about my anger at people I did not like...
"Mom, remember....everyone was a baby once. Try not to be so angry..everyone was a baby once..."

Even while he was here 'in body' he taught me lessons. And he still is.

more on that..............

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